7.31.2013

On Candy Crush

Now you see it:

And now you don't:

(Let's all just ignore the obnoxious Makeup 2 app that Juliette just loooooves, and focus on all those lovely educational apps, okay?)

I deleted Candy Crush from my iPad this morning. I don't remember when I downloaded it in the first place; it had been there for months, but I never actually played it until we were in the middle of our very long car trip this month. In a matter of days, I went from not giving a hoot about it to having an embarrassingly hard time turning it off.

I have long known I linger on the mild side of the obsessive/compulsive spectrum. It manifests in a variety of ways, some actually quite helpful. Remember that one time I built a church website from scratch in one sitting? A few weeks ago I decided to clean out my email inbox, and I sorted through almost two thousand emails in a day and a half. I can get stuff done when my little hyperfocus button gets pushed. But it's not always all that helpful. My mother loves to remind me of the time I decided, at age ten or so, that I was going to run a mile in the swimming pool and proceeded to run back and forth upwards of sixty times. I made myself sick. And there are other manifestations, too, that cause me grief, not accomplishment.

Candy Crush quickly became one of these. I got stuck on level 29 a couple days ago (Apparently there are, like, 400 levels? I cannot even imagine). With Ben and the girls in Ohio for the week, the only thing stopping me from playing nonstop while I was puttering around the empty house were the blasted limits on lives. I used up my five lives more than I care to admit.

And the thing is? I don't even like it. It is not fun. It is compulsive, and there is some pleasure in giving in to the compulsion, but it isn't a fulfilling pleasure. In fact, it's the very opposite: the more you do it, the more you want to do it.

Last night I slept terribly. As I tossed and turned, two incredibly annoying things rattled around in my head: a Jason Mraz song that I cannot stand, and Candy Crush. It was torturous. So when I woke up this morning to run, before I had time to reconsider or play one final farewell round, I deleted it.

If I could play Candy Crush casually, maybe I'd keep it around. But I can't. So it's gone.

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